I am going to start this post with a few disclaimers:
This post may not make total sense, because, I am not even sure what I am trying to say. And secondly, no I am not insane. And lastly, I am not being haunted by a ghost.
So, now that all of that is out of the way...
Lately I feel like I've been a little lost in my head. I spent a large part of the weekend lost in my own thoughts, reevaluating what I am doing, where I am going, the choices I've made and the people I have surrounded myself with. I have been composing a post in my head for the last several days and can't seem to settle my racing mind enough to even articulate how I am feeling or determine what is vexing me at the moment. Not being able to really pinpoint this feeling of malcontent and hence not being able to put into words how I am feeling is only serving to frustrate me further. How can I blog when I feel like there is this constant white noise in my head, when I am unable to find the words to even express what I am feeling? So, last night after not sleeping well Sunday night because I was rolling around in my mind lost in a sea of agitation and restlessness I figured I would sleep like the dead the following night. No such luck, my head hit the pillow, my eyes closed and then there was that general feeling of disquiet again. So, until this unease decides to reveal itself to me, like a person inhabiting a haunted house, I have decided to simply tell the ghost of my agitation, "We can both exist together, ok? You stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours."
Oddly, having bartered with my mind seemed to have worked on some level, I woke up today feeling better and more focused than I had in several weeks. "Screw it", I thought to myself, I am just going to blog about how I feel, even if I am not completely certain of how I actually feel and try to just push through this haze that seems to have settled in my mind. Hence, this slightly bizarre post. And yet, I feel better! And really, it's still there, the ghost lurking in the corner of my mind, however, until it chooses to reveal itself to me as opposed to being just generally annoying and distracting, I will keep focused on the things that matter, my family, my Terrbear, the many blessings I have and the simple joys I am fortunate enough to encounter in my every day life.
I mean, how can one be distracted with this face smiling at you?
PS. The title of this post is a line from one of my favorite songs, "Swing of Things" by a-ha. Fabulous song and even better eye candy. You're welcome.
"Restlessness is in our genes, time won't wear it off" You're ready for your next act girlfriend xoxoxo
Posted by: Missy | 06/07/2011 at 03:09 PM