I Swear I'm Not A Hippie

Yesterday while my little bear napped I was on CNN.com and on one side was the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and on the other side was a picture of the sink hole in Guatemala.  I couldn’t even bring myself to check in with the live feed showing the oil gushing into the ocean.  It is beyond me how this has been going on for as long as it has and that there were no back up provisional plans in place.  So instead I stare at a picture of the sink hole.  My initial thought was, “That’s not a real picture.  I’m not seeing it right.”  How does that happen?  Do I even want to know how that happens?  Suddenly I was feeling borderline hysterical thinking, "Nowhere is safe!  We are ruining our planet!  Where will our children live?  What sort of life will they have?".  

My hysteria led me to wistfully recalling my childhood and simpler times.  Life was so much easier back then.  The birth of MTV (when they played music) Brit Pop, rubber bracelets,  Atari, Cabbage Patch Kids, fingerless gloves.  We rode our bikes around the neighborhood until our mother’s called us in for dinner, we played outside and built little hiding places in trees and bushes.  My imaginary boyfriend was John Taylor or Simon LeBon, depending on my mood. Sitting on the front porch listening for the magical sound of the Good Humor truck.  At night we played ghost in the graveyard while our parents laughed with each other and reminisced and talked about grownup stuff.  Life was so simple, so much easier.  Right? Then I recalled what an anxious child I was.  Which led me to recalling the Cold War.  I remember some nights going to bed praying the Russians wouldn’t “nuke” us.  I’m not sure I understood what Russians or Nuke were, but I knew to be afraid of them.  I remember AIDS and how misinformation about it spread, and with it came the fear that you could catch it anywhere, the water fountain, holding hands.  I remember one of my fathers coworkers being held hostage at a factory in Manila and suddenly becoming aware that adults could be “kidnapped” too, and that thought frightened me.  If adults couldn’t protect us, who would?  Who was driving this train anyway?  

That very same sentiment often creeps up on me in adulthood.  I am a supposed “grownup” now and I will often ask myself, “Who the hell is in charge here?”.  I will often wonder if perhaps I didn’t have an idealized, naive or even juvenile expectation of what it means to be an adult.  I guess I expected that unlike in the school yard we would treat one another with respect and not bully each other.  That not unlike in the classroom, if we got out of hand there would be people in positions of power and authority to set us right and to punish those who had done us wrong.   Over the last decade my idealism has turned to fear, then anger, now I am slowly reaching the point of disbelief.  Politicians bickering like children, cheating, lying or all of the above.  "Real Housewives" bullying one another on television, people being rewarded for being amoral and self serving (I'm looking at you Paris and Lindsey), corporations cheating the public and not being held accountable. Will someone please do something already?!  In the case of the oil spill I want to rage against the heads of BP, I want to rage against Halliburton, I want to rage against our government for not making safety valves on these sort of rigs mandatory.  However, when it comes to something like a sink hole in South America, or a natural disaster (as opposed to our lovely man made disaster in the Gulf) well, that is when I get really freaked out.  I have no one to rail against.  No large corporation to boycott, no big business to condemn.  To be frank and speak plainly, this sort of disaster  scares the crap out of me.  I want to blame someone!  I want to feel like someone’s error, misjudgment, greed, ANYTHING caused this.  I want a reason and I want assurance it won’t happen where I live.  Right?  Nothing like that would ever happen here, right? RIGHT?!!  

That’s when I have to realize there are things I can control, the oil spill is not one of them.  Sink holes, earthquakes, natural disasters are also not within in my control.  What I can control is my reaction to fear and despair and the world I have created for myself and the people in it.  I can chose not to indulge in negativity.  I can respect, love and nurture the people I care about.  I can help make their lives happier, simpler, and support them emotionally.  I can respect, love and nurture myself by not poisoning my body with toxic food and allowing myself to be sedentary.  I can pray, meditate and focus on being a positive influence on my niece and nephews lives and put out as much kindness and hope as possible.  This I can do.  That and not get gas at BP.  

I just started following Marianne Williamson on Facebook and Twitter and she tweeted this thought regarding the oil spill earlier: 

“Remember: spend a minimum of five minutes each day with your eyes closed, seeing loving thoughts plugging that hole in the ocean. Pray for its repair.”  

Even if you aren’t religious per se, however you pray, whatever higher power you believe in, I think this is an amazing and hugely powerful idea. Just sit, focus, send kindness and love to the people affected and send energy and perseverance to those working for a resolution. 

Comments

[Missy]

I feel the same way & then I get overwhelmed with the impossibility of getting all of these messes under control & I can't even think about it at all. I read somewhere that the sinkhole was caused by some underground mine or something, so it was due to human error. I agree, I think sending good vibes & prayers are the way to go if you can't personally contribute to the repair. It's a good thing to remember. thanks Hon xoxo

[Michelle]

Not sure why hippiness gets such a bad reputation (aside from petuchuli stink.) We can all affect our little world bubbles and hope the positivity and love spread through the people we love as they interact with their world bubble.

Good for you for overcoming fear, that is hard to do.
Love and positive thoughts to you.

[Claire]

So eloquent (not sure about the spelling. I am with you. If everyone took care of their little piece of the planet what a wonderful world it would be.

[Eileen]

Work as if everything depended on you; pray as if everything depended on God. We need people to care about what they are doing, be it work, or daily living(no text
while driving), not letting some things slide and it is OK as long as we are not found out. We are angry at BP but we must remember they are for the most part good people,trying their best. We have to find out what went wrong and preventing this ever happening again. Boycotting local stations affects our neighbors and friends who run them ( remember Mr. Freida). Many 401 K 's are weighted in BP. it is easier to blame, and after the fact it may be deserved, but now let us look for solutions .
Love your Blog,it makes me laugh, but more important think( wish this read as well as what you write!!!)

[Robin]

Amen to that. It is very easy to get absorbed in the negativity and lose sight of the positive. I had a mini meltdown reading about Toxic America and all of the toxins that are showing up in the babies being born. They should be born with a clean slate body but instead their bodies contain residual toxins from the mother's environment. You've got to take the positive action steps, try to correct what you can control and then send out positive energy.

[wil-e]

I think you are totally on the right track, visualization and prayer is key. On a massive scale it can do more than we can even imagine. Funny how the more we learn, quantum physics and prayer/philosophy are lining up. Great post.