On Saturday my friend Bunny threw an amazing pigroast and BBQ on the beach. It was a perfect June day, the weather was warm with a summer breeze coming off Long Island Sound, the water was sparkling in the sun, the sand was cool underfoot, some trees provided a few spots of shade, and the company was great. I was so impressed with her planning and execution of the event. A few months back she had sent a facebook message out to all her friends saying technology was getting in the way of everyone connecting and we needed some one on one contact in the form of a good old fashioned beach BBQ. I immediately RSVP’d yes, I love anything to do with the beach and anything involving Bunny is always a good time. She runs her own cupcake company Pretty Please Cupcakes and she had made what looked like a hundred gorgeous cupcakes. She and her friend Tim had purchased a whole pig and were roasting it there for everyone, there was a whole assortment of salads, chips, sides, just a gorgeous spread for everyone. What I loved about the whole day, besides getting to be a guest there and be apart of a truly fun afternoon and evening, was that she knew what she wanted the day to be like, she planned it, executed it, and truly seemed to enjoy herself at the BBQ. It seems like so often I will have an idea for an amazing party, or I will think of an event or occasion I would like to celebrate but I allow myself to put off the actual celebration. “Next year” I’ll think to myself, or, “It’s too expensive to do it up the way I would want.” Well, that’s no fun.
I am in the middle of reading The Happiness Project, it is based on the blog by Gretchen Rubin where she chronicles her year of pursuing happiness in her life. My Mother gave me the book and my friend Jennifer also recommended it to me, given my year list is is an appropriate and thought provoking read. In the chapter I’m reading now Gretchen comes to the conclusion that as an adult she doesn’t know what her idea of fun is. She knows what she thinks should be fun and what she wants to be fun, but she can’t quite discern what it is she truly finds fun. Sunday I was laying by the pool reading Rubin’s chapter about fun and it got me thinking, what do I have fun doing? Well to start with, laying by the pool reading and jumping in intermittently is one of my favorite things to do. I love anything to do with the beach, I love getting lost in a good book, long chat sessions with my sisters and my best friend, gimlets and gossip with friends, traveling, anything that involves my niece and nephews. I enjoy all those things, however, the night before at the BBQ I had experienced a few moments of pure childlike glee. My sister Jamie and I had to walk past the playground to get to the bathrooms. They had these huge swings right on the beach only feet from the waters edge. She immediately hopped on and started swinging away. I stood for a moment and watched, not wanting to look silly or foolish. “Try it! It’s fun!” she called into the wind. After another few moments of hesitation I finally hopped on and began swinging my legs like crazy to try and catch up to her. I am mildly embarrassed to say I went from reserved to wholehearted delight in about 10 seconds. I couldn’t control how gleeful I felt and soon was squealing and laughing like a child. Loudly. Like literally hooting and hollering. I couldn’t help myself, it was just so..FUN! A few months ago I wouldn’t have jumped on the swing, I would’ve watched Jamie swing while I impatiently fussed about my dress blowing in the breeze, smoothed my hair, worried about the “chubby” girl looking silly or foolish. Now, because I am actively working on making my life happier and I have basically publicly admitted most of my insecurities, I realize, I almost feel obligated to step out of my comfort zone and do things that are out of the norm for me. I know some of you are thinking, "Really, swinging on a swing? Is that such a big deal? You need to get out more often." Well, for me, yes it was a big deal, because it involved me working through my insecurities and allowing myself to let loose. It's something I haven’t done in probably over 15 years that I wouldn’t previously allow myself to do to avoid looking foolish and when I did it, it was unexpectedly fun. What a revelation! And so cheap!
While reading about the concept of fun the next day after such a wonderful day before, I was forced to make a mental inventory. I do truly enjoy all of the activities I listed previously, but are they FUN? Some genuinely are, I have had some of the best belly laughs of my life just shooting the breeze with one of my sisters, and my friend Missy and I still will get totally silly and laugh like teenage girls when we have the opportunity to hang out. But, reading? Not exactly wildly fun. So, I am adding “Have more fun (and figure out what I find fun) to the life list. Yes I am an adult, but that doesn’t mean that life can no longer be fun. All the time? No, but there can be pockets of pure gleeful, bliss. The key for me is not letting those small chances pass me by, to not let my insecurities and hang-ups stand in the way of enjoying all the uncomplicated, simple, fun, pleasures life has out there.
By the way, hanging out with an 11 month old for most of the day provides many opportunities for fun, his smile, his giggles, his mighty little "ROAR!” his joy at the breeze blowing his hair back, his big, wet, open mouthed kisses, all extremely fun things. What do you all find fun? Seriously, let me know, post a comment I want ideas folks! But also, I find reading about other peoples ides of fun kind of, well, fun!
I always have fun hanging out with my besty,Mandy! No one makes me laugh like you! xoxo Have you ever jumped on a trampoline? That is so fun too! I was jumping on the one at my sis & bro-in-laws when they were on vacation. The girls in Jetta's shop saw me & thought I was a little kid who broke into their yard!! I must have looked moronic, but I was 30 yrs old at the time! Another thing that I really find fun is singing karaoke - I want my own machine!! Then we could finally make our album, "The Beauty Queen & The Blonde Madonna". I know I am happiest when I am with my friends and family, doing nothing special necessarily, just hanging out, talking & laughing. Eating is good too! xoxo
Posted by: Missy | 06/22/2010 at 03:13 PM
I love swinging on a swing,the trampoline is good too; I love to dance,and I love to sing. I never sing because I have a terrible voice but I think I will find the karaoke and belt one out.
Posted by: Eileen | 06/22/2010 at 03:29 PM
Still trying to figure it out myself. Nieces and nephews top the list. Beach walks, body surfing, reading, genealogy, talking to old friends, listening to fiddle and banjo music, big band music, spanish guitar, steel drum bands, Christmas carols, reggae...how can that not be fun?
Posted by: jen | 06/22/2010 at 06:10 PM
I knew we were twins! I read that book a few months ago. I loved it! For me.. fun things are traveling, going to the beach/swimming.. But I really need to find a more localized idea of fun bc I cant swim year-round, I don't live near a beach, and I'm in grad school so I def can't afford to travel constantly!
Posted by: Goldenfishie | 06/22/2010 at 07:14 PM
I am elated that you and J Majesty were there to enjoy the amazing weather and company with me. The simple pleasures are always most treasured. Friendship, sunshine, laughter, the ocean, a pit fire, a cool breeze and Grey Goose. A perfect day if you ask me.
Posted by: Bunny | 06/22/2010 at 11:23 PM
Hey Amanda! I loved your post and the image of you swinging and laughing your head off. I'm thrilled to hear that THE HAPPINESS PROJECT resonates with you -- I look forward to reading more about your adventures here!
warmly,
Gretchen Rubin
Posted by: Gretchen Rubin | 06/23/2010 at 05:14 PM
That was an awesome post- I love the description of swinging- that is being alive.
Posted by: wil-e | 09/03/2010 at 09:22 AM