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Like you, I have always and continue to use food in unhealthy ways. It is not easy to admit. It is not easy to master or change.
It is brave to say it outloud and brave to admit it to yourself and hold yourself accountable. Two nights ago I wrote this line in a daily journal I keep, "I am smarter than this, I need to eat better." Then I realized that it is not about being smarter it is about tending to my emotional health, which I neglect and avoid like the plague.

I admire you for putting it out there like this and I hope that this is the beginning of your new relationship with food.

I don't feel like I am there yet, getting there, but not there yet.

I too am a foodie and unwilling to give up anything at this point, but that is a topic for my own blog =)

There is a way to be a foodie, enjoy indulging now and then and still have a healthy relationship with food. If you find a magic key that figures it out, please share, but since this is the real world I will wish you luck on this very challenging facet of your journey!


Christopher Lembke

It sounds to me that you are making huge progress, very impressive! Keep up the good work! We're behind you all the way!


Hurray for Mandy! To see and acknowledge the problem is the hardest thing. This I know personally (I won't be searching for the VIP room aka the kitchen hopefully ever again due to having 10 Apple Martinis:).

love the blog!


WOW!,another great one. This really hits home,my detox diet,my youngest traveling,my body aching, I was feeling pretty creepy this week too. I was lost in myself. You express things so well that I can understand more clearly what I am feeling,sounds strange but true! I am on my way now to do something that always works for me and lifts my spirit.Something for somebody else!
We are with you and praying for you.You can do it.


Another nail on the head! You are amazing. It was great to see you and Terr Bear Today~ You are my idol!


Wow Mandy, such openess. Such courage!

What I have come to realize over the years is that rewarding myself means eating something nutritious and good for my BODY and not my tongue. Punishing myself is eating crap I know is bad for my body even if it momentarily tastes good.

I have this body, God willing, long term and so I need to take the best care of it that I can.

It's like gas in my car. I don't put water in my tank because it's convenient or lemonade because it tastes good. The health of my car doesn't depend on what gas tastes like, neither does my health.

I'm worth eating healthy. I deserve to take a minute and think about my body before I eat. Nutrition affects my performance day to day so I'm going to figure out what works for me and stick with it.

I'm also not rewarding my kids when I give them candy or fast food. Its actually more like punishment filling them with garbage that is not good for them. Rewards should be things that are good for them. Somehow we got things backwards.

Keep going sweetheart. You're worth it!


Do you watch Ruby on Style network? This past season chronicled her struggle with recognizing and accepting herself as a food addict. Very interesting. They're reshowing a bunch of those episodes this summer. If you have not seen them, give them a shot. Some things she says drive me crazy (like hacky instead of happy) but overall, it's worthwhile.


You have to replace that negative with a postive. When you start getting what I call the "angry beast" feeling i drink some water and wash my hands (makes me feel clean and in control) and then I try to do some kind of physical exercise, toe raises, those grip strengthener things- anything to relieve the tension. Nice job!

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Life List: 1.Be a Mother 2.Go to Paris with someone I love 3.Go to South Africa 4.See the Grand Canyon 5.See U2 live and be in the first 3 rows 6.Meet Bono (preferably have a drink with him) 7.Take a hot air balloon ride 8.Learn to garden 9.Own a home 10.Make said home warm and welcoming 11.Parasail 12.Camp out (glamping) at least one night 13.Write a book 14.Become active in a charity 15.Visit Hawaii 16.Throw a masquerade ball 17.Have a good amount of money in savings 18.See the pyramids (in Egypt) 19.Stay at the Ice Hotel 20.Swim with Dolphins (that ones for you Michelle!) 21.Horseback ride in Montana 22.Hike through Zion Narrows in Utah 23.Fall in Love 24.Visit Canada 25.Act again 26.Skinny dip in the Ocean 27.Own a house on the Cape (or Branford) 28.Be the type of person who exercises 5 days a week 29.Eat green and healthy ALL the time 30.Play tennis (well) again 31.Meet Al Roker (Bonus if he interviews me) 32.Go to an opulent, black tie New Years Eve ball and wear a gown worthy of the Oscars red carpet. At Midnight kiss a dashing gentleman. 33.Vacation and gamble recklessly in Monte Carlo 34.Achieve acceptance of my body 35.Go to the Opera 36.Stay for a week on a yacht in the Caribbean and start each day with a swim. 37.Learn to ski 38.Fly first class to Hong Kong
Year List: 1. LOSE 65 POUNDS (DONE, over 80lbs shed!) 2. 30 MINUTES OF WALKING 5 DAYS A WEEK (DONE!) 3 LEARN YOGA (Work in progress....) 4. QUIT COKE (Diet coke, I am beyond addicted) (This may have gotten worse, actually...) 5. DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER DAILY (DONE!) 6. START AND MAINTAIN A BLOG (YAY!) (DONE!) 7. BECOME MORE TECH SAAVY (Ohh boy....) 8. NURTURE MY RELATIONSHIPS (Work in progress but so far so good!) 9. STAND UP FOR MYSELF (DONE!) 10. BEOME FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE (Work in progress but again, not too shabby!) 11. RUN A 5K (Knees disagree, still working on it...) 12. GO TO ITALY (SIGH...one day, just not in 2011.) 13. APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOLS (THIS SPACE UNDER CONSTRUCTION) 14. FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT AND HOW TO MAKE MONEY WHILE DOING IT.  (WATCH THIS SPACE!) 15. RAISE $1800 AND WALK 39 MILES FOR THE AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER DONE!!!!

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