The List

For whatever reason growing up food was always a big deal in my house.  Before you say "Well, wasn't in most homes?"  It was a little bit of an obsession for us.  My sister once literally O.D.'d on Flintstone vitamins.  Those little guys were delish!  I would've beat her to it had I not had visions of my five year old self being carted off to the hospital in an ambulance to have my stomach pumped free of all those tiny Fred's and Barney's.  My Mother was an advocate of eating healthy, therefore, sweets were only around for holidays and special occasions (She would mix Honey Nut Cheerios with plain Cheerios to "water" them down, ugh!).  It was for this reason I would start planning my birthday menu 11 and a half months out.  My sisters and I mastered the art of emptying the contents of an Entemann's box of cookies without ever actually breaking the seal and opening the box.  You merely slipped your little hand along the outer seam and liberated the cookie from a still "unopened" box.  My mother would return home and remove a suspiciously light box from atop the refrigerator only to find one cookie and some crumbs banging around an empty yet inexplicably sealed box.  We never ate the last cookie, honor among thieves I suppose.  We had some sense of decorum! We were wily little hellions when it came to food.   Once my mother went into the pantry and found a block of semisweet bakers chocolate torn from it's wrapper and a chunk gnawed off the side, she feared we may have a mice problem. In actuality my sister had thought she hit the mother load when she spotted what looked like a delectable chunk of chocolate (and it wasn't even Christmas!!) and took a big ole' bite, only to be hit with the bitter taste of this impostor chocolate!  (Have you ever tasted bakers chocolate?  So disappointing)  Much of my childhood was spent obsessing over how to get food, and then how to squirrel it away from my sisters.   Is this why I have struggled with my weight and my relationship with food for all my adult life?  I don't really know.  I do know know that for the last 24 years, every birthday when I blew out my candles, and every New Years Eve, I have had the same wish, the same resolution: to lose weight.  However, as I get older it is no longer about being "hot" or fitting into a certain size, it is about being healthy and feeling good in my skin.  

In our culture food is inherently tied to our memories and our emotions.  Macaroni and cheese?  My Grandmother.  Onion dip and potato chips?  My Aunt Peggy's house.  Beef Wellington? Christmas.  French Toast?  Easter Sunday.  Food is often how we celebrate, how we nurture, it is how as a society we socialize and commemorate milestones.  One can't just "quit" food like drugs or alcohol.  You can't avoid food, you physically need it.  No going cold turkey here.  However, clearly, it is not an issue for everyone.  Many people enjoy food, are total "foodies" but aren't food obsessed.  Part of my journey this year is to not only get to a healthy weight and get in shape, but to develop a healthy relationship with food.  For that reason the number one task on "My List" Is:

1. Lose 65 lbs.

I debated doing some sort of weight tracker on here but truthfully this isn't The Biggest Loser, this isn't going to be a weight loss blog.  And it isn't so much about losing the weight (although I chose that number because it puts me in my healthy BMI range for my height and age) it really is about getting fit and healthy.  And as I said feeling comfortable in my skin.  Because becoming healthy and losing weight has been a focus for me and is a major part of my  journey this year, many of the challenges on my list are tied in to that, but not all of them.  I'll be listing the complete yearlong "list" below and in the coming weeks I am also going to be working on a life list.  You know, all the things I want to do and see and accomplish in this lifetime.  Like I said, I may never complete some of the tasks but the journey will be rewarding.  I am open to recommendations and tips, I love that my cousin Rusty shared her Curves experience and Michelle and Christy gave me some advice and homework assignments, keep 'em coming!  And thank you everyone for all the amazing feedback and encouragement, I am beyond lucky to have suck amazing, supportive and kind people around me!

Ok party people here is the list in it's entirety:

1. LOSE 65 LBS

2. 30 MINUTES OF WALKING 5 DAYS A WEEK

3 LEARN YOGA

4. QUIT COKE (Diet coke, I am beyond addicted) 

5. DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER DAILY

6. START AND MAINTAIN A BLOG (YAY!)

7. BECOME MORE TECH SAAVY

8. NURTURE MY RELATIONSHIPS

9. STAND UP FOR MYSELF

10. BEOME FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE

11. RUN A 5K

12. GO TO ITALY

13. APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOLS

14. FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT AND HOW TO MAKE MONEY WHILE DOING IT. 

15. PARTICIPATE IN THE AVON BREAST CANCER 2 DAY WALK

So there it is.  I have 12 months folks!  As I said in my previous post, I have wanted to do all of the above things (some more challenging than others) for many, many years. Now that I have eliminated a lot of stress from my life by leaving the rat race behind I have the luxury of being able to tackle these challenges with a clear mind and less stress.  Oh and I have my little Terr-Bear to cheer me on!   I rarely verbalized my "list" to anyone.  Now I am submitting these hopes, dreams, desires, and goals into cyberspace and making it known that this is what I want.  Do you have a list?  Don't we all, even if not on a conscious level have our "lists"?  Well, let me know!  Maybe I'll get some ideas and inspiration! 

Comments

[Sarah]

Good for you Mandy! I will be cheering you on from Sweden. I too am making a lifestyle change. I have decided that I cannot succeed dieting, it needs to be a permanent change. We are getting married on December 31st and by then need to be back to my pre-baby weight. I can barely walk after my first Body Pump class in 4 years.

[Robin]

Yay!! You go girl. I love the list, I am excited for you just reading it. I can't wait to watch you on this adventure. I hope all of the joy you are putting out comes back at you 10-fold!
Love you!

[Michelle]

Hey lady! Great list! Italy is on mine too.
When I decided to do 35 things in my 35th year (meaning to be completed by the time I turn 35 in December) I secretly added lose 35 pounds. I never said it or acknowledged it before, just internally. There is an inherent fear of failure when it comes to weight loss for me. I know I can lose it, it is just a matter of doing it, right? Wrong. Like you, I have food issues. It is something to control in a world where we have so little control, and really control is an illusion anyway. I admire your chutzpah! I admire your willingness to put it all out there. Good luck. Stay focused and you can acheive anything!

[Eileen]

This is as exciting as going to Italy! I am so delighted for you. May I come along for the ride and I think I am going to use some of your list,it's a great one. Love you!

[Christopher Lembke]

Awesome! We are all cheering you on Biz. However, I am a little disappointed that a English lit major would misspell Sweden (item #12 on your list)! C'mon Pady Peepol!

[Christopher Lembke]

Yay!! You can do it Girl!! I am going to write down my list now too! xoxoxo

[Missy]

PLEASE NOTE: Stoffe did not write the comment directly above - I did. I didn't realize I was signed in to his account. Sorry Stofferman for making you sound like a woman.

Anyway, I am so proud of you Mandy! It takes a lot of courage to share your goals with the world. I know how far you have come in just being able to do that. Cheers, Bravo & PipPip to you, Girl!! xoxo