Do you ever get the feeling the universe is trying to tell you something? Either that or your Mother has paid off everyone you know to ask you why you haven't started your blog so you finally acquiesce to her demands? Something like this happened to me over the last few days. Several people in my life asked me when I was planning on finally starting my blog and today my Mother asked innocently, "Have you thought more about your blog". Done! I am powerless to the wishes and whims of the universe! So, that is my story. And my ruse for making you read my thoughts on a daily basis. I'm sticking to it! If I behave as if I am in no way culpable for the creation of said blog then I can feel less narcissistic.
A little about me:
I worked in the management level of cosmetics retail for 11 years. I adore makeup, however, retail could turn Pollyanna and Holly Golightly into the most bitter and hardened miserable shrews. Long hours, meeting sales goals, standing for hours on end, dealing with customer demands. Let's just say I've seen the third ring of hell and it looks like a cosmetic sales floor during double discount. So, I...left. I am a play by the rules, do the right thing, play it safe, sort of gal so to stick my big toe out, pull it back, and then turn around only to turn back and take a running leap in to the ocean of the unknown was a huge deal and sort of scary. At first, then I came up for air I realized what a gift I had been given. Suddenly I was off the wheel I had been spinning for over 11 years. For the first time since I had graduated from college I felt like I was staring into the great wide open, and for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful!
So, you may be asking, what did you decide to do? Where did you go? What did you learn? Weeeeeelllll, that is what I am in the midst of figuring out. I left my job, left my apartment, left the rat race and moved in with my sister and brother-in-law, just as my sister who had given birth to my nephew 3 months prior was about to return to work after maternity leave. I was going to take care of my little 3 month old nephew for 10 to 11 hours a day while my sister was at work. In addition I was going to plot my next move. Did I want to go back to school and get my masters? Become a teacher? Become a full time freelance makeup artist, a dog walker, a writer, a party planner, a beach bum, a hobo??? So this is the journey. I am spending my days with Terr-Bear, who over the last 6 months I have been caring for him has become the love of my life, and I am attempting to re-make myself. Learn to like myself, lose weight, get healthy and figure out the next major step. I am the proverbial "butterfly" referenced in the title of the blog and the bear is the adorable little Terrance, now 10 months old, who we all lovingly refer to as Terr-Bear Extraordinaire.
This is my first post! How exciting! Right? I know, I know, everyone blogs, bloggity blog blog blog, ugh. However, I want to do this, I think the journey is going to be exciting, and funny, and fun, so I'd like to share it. Who doesn't want to start over at some point in their lives? A clean slate? It is such a rare opportunity. I always thought I was too old to let it all go and start fresh, I had to make a certain salary, I had to live in a certain place, drive a certain type of car. I had to live up to everyone's vision of how my life should be, there were bills to pay, standards to uphold, keep up the status quo! I let it all fall away. I never thought I could, I always fantasized about it but never thought it possible, but I jumped and never looked back. And my family and friends, the ones I thought would be horrified, would decry my breaking from convention, they all were relieved and supportive. No one, not one person said "what the hell are you thinking?!" In fact the most common response is envy. Now my "job" is to make this time count and enjoy the gift I have been given. At the other side I want to come out with a better understanding of who I am, where my passion lies, and what will fulfill me. Along the way I am reworking my body, losing weight, getting physically fit and getting back a little of the old chutzpah I seemed to have lost along the way, all the while chilling with the most amazing, hilarious, brilliant, beautiful little man. (I may be a little biased) And you are here to keep me honest, focused, and accountable and also as my wingman. So come on! Come along for the ride!
Lady, this is fantastic. I am so glad that you have started this blog. What a wonderful outlet. You know I have blogged from the beginning of blogs in various incarnations, so let me say this: Be honest, only put out there what you are truly comfortable with others knowing, and be creative. You are a wonderful writer,and a wonderful, creative, funny, and loving person. This blog could be just that, a blog, or it could evolve into something more. So proud of you.
Michelle
Posted by: Michelle | 05/14/2010 at 08:32 AM
Oprah just did a show about the NY Times bestseller, Women, Food, and God. Wonder if you might want to pick it up and review it for us? You're on a journey and it seems like food and the bigger purpose is part of that. Perhaps you and Terr can do an outing to the library?
Look at me, giving you assignments!
Looking forward to your writing and to seeing you this summer.
Posted by: Christy | 05/14/2010 at 09:44 AM
How lovely to read about your life. You are one of the most hilarious, creative people we all have the pleasure to know. I loved reading your Blog. Can't wait to hear more. You know how beautiful you are inside and out-I've always told you that. Losing weight-a lifelong struggle for me is always a challenge! Working out at Curves For Women has been a real asset for me. It gives me energy to do more-think clearly and see other women who just want to move their bodies. I've met large women and 84 yr. olds who come around the circuit and they inspire me.....so best of luck to a great person. It only takes 3x's a week to strengthen your muscles and then you and Terr-Bear can walk every day! Keep us posted on your road, Mandy-love you! Rusty
Posted by: claire carew | 05/14/2010 at 12:13 PM