My sister Robin and I never really had a traditional sister relationship, we rarely bickered, there was never any competition, perhaps that's because Robin was five years older and she set the tone from a very young age. She always looked out for me and babied me. When I was young I would sneak up to Robin’s room at night and would play doll house until way past my bedtime. Her room was paradise. It was all light pink and rose, she had beautiful wood furniture and a brass head board and a huge doll house. She also would vacuum and dust it on an almost daily basis so it was immaculate. She was 10 by the way. It was one of my favorite places in the world. Her doll house “family” were these miserable looking uptight victorian figurines, we used to make them yell and curse at each other. (I’m sure a psychologist could have a field day with that bit of information.) To this day I smile when I picture Robin making the prim and proper “mom” yell, “Fuck this shit fuckers!” while she slid down the banister of the doll house stairs. Sometimes Robin would be so hilarious I would laugh a little too hard for my five year old bladder and wet her carpet. I would dissolve into frantic giggles and she’d say, “Mandy DO NOT WET MY CARPET!” and then I’d abruptly stop giggling. “Sorry Robin.” For someone who kept their room immaculate she never really got angry at me, instead she’d get some club soda and clean it up. I’m serious, she was 10.
Despite the fact that I was a shy and sometimes meek child, Robin always taught me to stand up for myself, because she liked having me around I was confident in our friendship regardless of our 5 year age difference. I remember one time Robin left the room and her psycho little friend turned to me and said, “Why do you follow Robin around? We don’t want you here!” to which I replied honestly, “Yes she does, she loves me! And when you go home we make fun of you and laugh at you!” That shut her up. And I believed it, I never felt like she didn’t have room for me in her life or that my presence was an annoyance. I was confident that she didn't just tolerate her little sister shadowing her, but that she actually liked having me around. When I had a huge interview and was freaking out because I had no real “interview” clothes, it was Robin who gave me the money to buy a proper suit. Lest anyone reading this should think my other sisters don't play as important a role in my life, know that all my sisters have been there for me throughout my life and continue to be. When I was going through a hard time my sophomore year of college my sister Shelia drove the three hours to take me out to dinner and cheer me up. When I lived in London and was as poor as a church mouse it was my sister Claire who sent me a check and a note telling me to take care of myself and eat well. Even though she is seven years younger than me my sister Jamie has always looked out for me and listened to me when I cried over some heartbreak or upset in my life. I am so blessed to be able to go through life knowing that no matter what happens, no matter what life throws my way I have a support system in place.
Perhaps because I grew up with sisters I always forged strong relationship with my female friends, and I am blessed to have accumulated several more “sisters” over the years. Whenever I meet a woman who either doesn’t trust women or who says she doesn’t have any female friends I feel disheartened for them. For me my “sisters” have carried me through some of my most difficult times, applauded me when I have had success, and laughed with me through it all. I always love hearing stories about sisters, I adore movies that examine the sister relationship and bond such as Sense and Sensibility and LIttle Women, and I am always annoyed when I feel like sisters are portrayed in an implausible manner, either in books or movies. I went to college with the Packuska sisters, Katie and Lynn (of the candy corn fame) and I loved how they nurtured and supported one another, there was no competition between them even though they were in the same college and so close in age. For me when I have good news the first people I want to call are my sisters, when something has upset me or I’m feeling scared the first call I make, again, is to one of my sisters. And while they are there always cheering me on and building me up, try being pretentious or foolish in front of your sister, she will be the first person to call you out. Sisters are natural equalizers, they won't let you look stupid, but if you do they will inevitably tease you for it. They keep you humble and remind you that while they think you're amazing, you shouldn't let it go to your head. With sisters you don't have to be polite and exchange niceties, you can immediately slip into the comfortable and familiar. I’m not yet married but I know that the man I settle down with will have to be comfortable with the fact that I am kind of a package deal, you love me, you love my sisters (and you are ok with them being around. A lot.) It’s like I have a built in gang. And trust me, you don’t want to mess with a woman and her sisters, they will take you down! In writing my list so many people have come out and supported and encouraged me, so today I want to thank all my sisters, blood and otherwise for being part of my gang and always having my back.
Another gem!
Posted by: Claire | 05/26/2010 at 12:30 PM
Mandy, I've always been so jealous of my cousins for having sisters! As you know I grew up with two older brothers. I always told my mother that I wasn't going to reach the double digits (in age) bc we fought like cats and dogs! But the older we all got, the closer we got and I can honestly say my brothers are some of the best friends anyone could ever have! I'm so lucky to have them in my life...... with that said.... having so many wonderful girl cousins (who all helped me get through the 10yr old mark :)) is so wonderful!! Those girls are the closest things to sisters for me and I wouldn't trade those relationships for the world!!! I used to stay with the Davis girls when my parents would go on vacation (and my brothers would stay with the Peck's - poor Missy! like she needed two more guys in that house) and I would LOVE my time there! Having close girlfriends are a completely different dynamic than brothers- you need close girlfriends in your life!! By having older brothers, I also have had a 'sister-like' relationship with my mom which has been incredible. I'm very blessed to have all these wonderful people in my life. Family and good friends are so important!! I would be no where without them!
Great blog! As I read your blog, I can actually hear you telling me the stories! You truly are a wonderful person, Mandy. Whenever I get to see you when you're with Missy, you must notice that all our girl cousins (including myself) practically glue ourselves to you guys! I love hearing all your stories and escapades through the years :) Your positive attitude is contagious! Good luck with your list- you can do it!
Posted by: Suzanne | 05/26/2010 at 12:52 PM
I concur! Another GEM!
Posted by: Eileen McCorry | 05/26/2010 at 01:00 PM
Nice one! *flashes gang sign*
Posted by: Kat Warren | 05/26/2010 at 01:07 PM
I have to say this one made me a little sad that I was not fortunate enough to have sisters. Don't want to have a pity party, but brothers are really not the same. Like Suzie said, my cousins are like my sisters now, and I am so lucky to have them, but I'm afraid it is still not quite the same sense of inclusion you would have being one of the sisters. I grew up knowing full well what I was missing out on as my Mom is one of 3 girls & their daughters are the cousins I'm referring to. Anyway, my friends & cousins have always acted as my sisters filling that void & I am thankful for them. I totally agree with you that I can't understand women who do not have other women friends or are suspicious, competive & judgemental of them.
On a more upbeat, less feeling sorry for myself note, I laughed out loud at your description of the Victorian dollhouse interactions. Priceless! xoxoxo
Posted by: Missy | 05/26/2010 at 02:02 PM
Thanks for the comments everyone, I love them! Kim, Suzanne and Missy, you all have made your own "sisters" in your lives. That's what is so amazing about the bond of female friendships, they are truly sisterhoods. Suzy and Missy, I love spending time with all the cousins, you all might as well be sisters, such an amazing and fun group of women! At the end of the post I recognize all sisters, blood or otherwise, in life we make our own sisterhoods and "gangs". Marge you are always going to be my in my gang, you're my sister from another mother! xoxo
Posted by: Manda | 05/26/2010 at 02:19 PM
Right back at you sistah! I love having you around and the fact that you are in my life on a daily basis again brings me so much joy. I thought 66th street was the end of the line for us as roomies but thank god it was not.
What can I say, my baby sister is taking care of my baby and that makes me so happy and is so right on many levels. Every day I wonder how I can leave you both but I do it because you are so perfect for Terrance and the little guy is good for you too - this blog is case-in-point. And Mama needs to make some money what with two mortgages.
Anyway, this may be one of my favorite entries to date because I love the subject and I love my sisters.
PS - Please note that now that I have grown up I don't use the language or act out like the victorian mother-___er from the dollhouse.
Posted by: Robin McCorry Law | 05/26/2010 at 11:52 PM